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4 Ways to Know When It Is Time to Break Up

Posted by in Miscellaneous on 25. Mar, 2014 | Comments Off on 4 Ways to Know When It Is Time to Break Up

Breaking up is a difficult thing to do. If you have invested your emotion into a relationship, it is difficult to just let it go. This is true especially for those who have been in the relationship for quite some time. However, there instances in which it is best to just give it up. How would you know when it is high time to let go?

  1. See if you are just in this relationship because you don’t want to hurt your partner. If this is your main reason for still going on with the relationship, then it won’t serve you well. This will just make you a weaker person. The relationship must help you grow and be able to confront your feelings. If it does nothing but to stop you from being honest, then it is the opposite of what you must get out of a relationship.
  2. Determine how you feel especially when you are outside with your partner. If you start to feel embarrassed, then this is not working anymore. Your relationship must be something that you are proud of. If you feel this way, there is something wrong. You can’t stay that way for a long time. Better yet, just put an end to everything.
  3. Find out if you stay in the relationship because you don’t want to feel alone and start all over again. Being in a relationship is not a simple test of endurance. It is not about who lasts the longest. It is more of what you have learned out of being there. If you are tired to start over and that’s your main reason for holding on, then there is no point at all.
  4. Check your similarities and differences. Yes, opposites attract, but it can’t stay that way forever. If you differ in many things especially in major decisions, it might be high time to put a stop to it.

Hopefully, you will find the courage to break up when needed. Rest assured, you can find refuge in fun activities when you are emotionally troubled. Check out Florida Georgia Line Zone.

The Effects of Fragrance on the Mind and the Emotions

Posted by in Mental Health, Psychology on 21. Mar, 2014 | Comments Off on The Effects of Fragrance on the Mind and the Emotions

Every culture around the world has a custom or practice on the use of fragrance and these customs have been in use since ancient times. In days long ago, when ventilation and indoor plumbing were still unknown, people used aromatic tree resins to take away musty smells in their homes, whenever a visitor calls. The burning of incense to perfume the air and to purify the surroundings has been practiced by churches through the ages. No doubt, man’s utility and pleasure in fragrances have continued until the present day.

Your sense of smell is one of the most powerful among the senses. Just a whiff of a scent can trigger past memories, whet an appetite, uplift a mood or create a general sense of well-being. Fragrance is a part of everyday life: it is used in soaps, cosmetics, shampoos, detergents, and even cleaning solutions.

A clear gauge of how important fragrance is to people is the fact that perfume sales worldwide amount to billions of dollars annually. Celebrities have even their own lines of perfume. One of the best selling is the Katy Perry perfume line. In 2013, the pop star launched her third perfume called Killer Queen, a title of one of the songs by the rock band, Queen, whose songs she sometimes performs in her concerts. To get more information on Katy Perry’s tour schedules and tickets, go to

Fragrances play a big role in the quality of life that you live, as experts believe that they do have an impact on your psyche. The fresh scent of lemon is invigorating in the same way as that of lavender is soothing. Scents can make people more alert, improve learning ability and increase productivity in the workplace.

A fragrance’s effect can be explained by the connection of your sense of smell to the limbic system of the brain, which is the part of the brain that deals with emotions and memories. This is the primary reason why pleasant scents can be a major contributing factor to feelings of happiness or relaxation. Similarly, a disgusting smell can make you feel irritable and depressed.

It is amazing to think that something that is unseen can have such an impact on the emotions and the mind. Hence, in times when your mood needs cheering up, remember how a certain fragrance can lend its help. 

Studies Reveal That Women are More Forgiving Than Men

Posted by in Psychology on 20. Mar, 2014 | Comments Off on Studies Reveal That Women are More Forgiving Than Men

woman-smilingAccording to a study conducted by the Case Western Reserve University, it was revealed that women are more forgiving than men. Most men find it difficult to let go of a mistake committed by someone against them. However, this can be changed when men start to develop empathy towards the person who has done them wrong. This is true especially if they have realized that they are also capable of acting in the same manner themselves.

In fact, this is not the first study that has revealed such a result. In several other studies conducted between 1998 and 2005, the same results were shown. In the research, questions were asked to individuals and groups to determine which gender is more forgiving.

According to Julie Juola Exline, they have tried doing the experiment over and over again to see if they can shy away from the result. However, after several trials, they are led to the same conclusion. One of the studies even sought for the subjects’ attitude towards the 9/11 terrorists and the response of the government. When this issue was raised, women tend to think of their own government doing the similar acts with the terrorists if they are to avenge the country. This is why they become more supportive of negotiation and peace talks.

It was also found out in the study that women are taught to be more forgiving and to learn how to build relationships at an early age. This makes them more forgiving as they grow older. However, when empathy is at play, both genders tend to soften and become less vengeful.

Well, it really is easier to forgive and let go rather than to keep everything inside. If someone has done you wrong and you wish to forget everything, you might want to watch a Bruno Mars concert. If so, you can reserve tickets via MusoTickets now.

Looking Into my Belief System and Why I Choose Integrative Psychotherapy

Posted by in Miscellaneous, Psychology on 28. Feb, 2014 | No Comments

My experiences in life taught me the following outlook: there is a reciprocal interaction between an individual and his or her environment and there should be a concrete analysis of concrete situation. With these outlook comes other interconnecting values and beliefs that I also subscribe to. First, I think that the relationship of the individual and the environment is a fundamental component of how the individual shapes his or her outlook. The environment to which an individual must respond is not only the physical environment but also the environment he himself has created through his activity and he which he is immersed from birth, his or her social environment. While the physical and social environments influence how the individual feels, thinks and behaves, there is the decisiveness of an individual in responding to his or her environment. He or she may be making right or wrong choices, may behave in certain ways, may have different levels of relationships with different persons, etc. but it is he or she who is decisive. For example, a neurotic person acts, thinks, and behaves in excessive ways (like too much anxiety, exaggerated fears), as a reaction to his or her environment. His or her reaction could be a product of external factors, like history of family relationships, traumatic events, etc. This is an example of how the environment influences the individual’s affective, cognitive and behavioural processes. However, it is the individual who is eventually decisive — how he or she reacts to certain situations is a personal choice. He or she may react in a “differentiated” way in stressful situations, or may act the other way around, but it is eventually him or her who is decisive. On the other hand, I take exemption to psychotic persons. In contrast to the neurotic person who has still a grasp of reality, a psychotic person is truly insane and has more extreme problems. Since a psychotic person actually loses touch reality and reacts in grossly abnormal ways, I do not think he or she is decisive on his actions.

While I believe that the environment plays influences the feelings, thoughts and behaviours of an individual, my belief that the individual is decisive is consistent with the belief that there is an inherent value for each individual. Each individual, no matter what economic class he or she belongs, no matter what his or her past is, and no matter what he or she has been through, I always believe that there is an inherent goodness in every person. An individual may be doing something that is socially unacceptable (like becoming a thief, thug, prostituted, etc), but he or she may be a good father, mother, son, daughter, or friend. Why an individual is doing anti-social activities I believe is also socially-influenced. Here we see the reciprocal relationship between the individual and his or her environment.

Another lesson that I have learned in life is learning to co-exist with individuals whose attitudes are different from mine. We may be sharing the same principles but since we were raised in different ways, contradictions always persist. Through the years, I have learned to be patient with these individuals, accepting the fact that the development of individuals is uneven, influenced by a lot of things coming from the environment that he or she evolved. I have also met a lot of people whose values, beliefs and orientation is radically, if not partially, different from mine. From members of my immediate family, to one of my best friends since college, even just acquaintances, I see a difference in our values system. This doesn’t mean, however, that I look down on them or act differently towards them. Of course I cannot do this to my family and my best friend and even to just mere acquaintances.

One belief that I subscribe to pertains to the concrete analysis of concrete situations. To have the right outlook in life and in dealing with different kinds of situation, it is important for me to always know the facts (events, relationships, data, etc) and realities surrounding such situation or event. For me, this is a scientific way of coming up with right decisions or choices. This does not mean, however, that I tend to be passive. In making decisions, especially difficult ones, I always based my goals on lessons from past experiences and at the same time in current situation while aspiring for change and/or development in the future. I also believe that all things change and there is no such thing as being static. Changes may have a different level of intensity or pace, or it might be beneficial or not, but the thing is, things change. And this includes human beings. This is also one reason why I always believe that there should be a concrete analysis of concrete situation. Taking all these into context, I come to the conclusion of the effectiveness of integrative psychotherapy as a technique in counselling.

I believe that each technique has its unique contributions in the field of psychotherapy.  Each has its own expertise. However, after taking some time to reflect and taking into account my outlook, I think integrative psychotherapy will work best for me. Human behaviour is a complex matter and there is a range of client types with specific problems. Integrative psychotherapy brings together the affective, cognitive, behavioural, and physiological systems within a person, with an awareness of the environmental aspects (social, economic, interactions, etc.) surrounding the person. These concepts are used within a perspective of human development in which each stage of life introduces heightened developmental tasks, need sensitivities, crises, and opportunities for new learning. Taking into account this framework, effective psychotherapy involves expertise in a combination of cognitive, affective, and behavioural techniques. This combination is important to help clients think about their beliefs, outlook and assumptions, to feel their conflicts and struggles within themselves and their environment, and by translating their insights into action as reflective in the behaviours they exhibit in day-to-day living. With this, it is sensible to cross boundaries and develop an approach that best fits the situation. The fundamental question is, to quote Preston (1998), “What does this person need in order to suffer less, to heal, to grow, or to cope more effectively?” A client’s problem and the kind of intervention he or she may need is different from another’s. From this I think the psychotherapist’s choices of interventions should be guided by his or her assessment of the client. It is important for a psychotherapist to decide what techniques, procedures, or intervention methods to maximize, when to use them, and with which clients these are applicable.

I believe that to gain knowledge and expertise in an integrative approach to psychotherapy takes a lot of time, effort to study all existing approaches, reflection and practice. The challenge for me right now is to really take a deeper grasp of the different approaches. In addition to this, another effort I believe I should engage myself into is to review and find deeper understanding on the different schools of psychology since I have been detached with the academic life for a long time.

Developing an integrative perspective in psychotherapy is a lifelong endeavour. It is always important for a therapist to expand his or her knowledge based from one’s own experience at the same time taking into account the developments in each therapeutic model.  I believe that with the rapid development of today’s world, it is important to be open-minded and receptive to changes and at the same time integrating these to one’s own value systems and principles in life.